


The person you least expect

by killerweasel



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2013-03-05
Packaged: 2017-12-04 10:24:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/709698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lindsey finds himself discussing sex with Illyria.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The person you least expect

Title: The person you least expect  
Fandom: Angel  
Claim: Lindsey McDonald/Angel  
Characters: Lindsey McDonald, Angel, Illyria  
Word Count: 790  
Rating: R

AU after _Underneath_

**The person you least expect**

When I heard the sound of footsteps, a wave of relief went through me. “Took you long enough! You found the matches, right?”

The blindfold was ripped away from my eyes. I found myself face to face with someone I’d never seen before. That didn’t mean I was unaware of who she was. Eve had given me the description of the former god king. A quick look around revealed that we were the only ones in the room. And since Angel had tied me up before leaving, I was trapped, not to mention naked. I hadn’t thought it was possible for a person’s entire body to blush before.

“The other half-breed told me to come ask you a question.”

My eyebrows shot up. “Spike sent you here?” She nodded. I made a mental note to kick him in the ass as hard as I could the next time I saw him. “What’s the question?”

Illyria made an exasperated noise. “I was walking the halls of this wretched place and heard a pathetic creature like you talking about mating.”

I didn’t like the direction this conversation was going at all. “Okay.”

“She spoke of being ‘vanilla’. You will explain this to me. _Now_.” She gave me a look which told me I wasn’t going to be able to just change the subject. Besides, pissing off higher powers wasn’t exactly the smartest idea in the world. Where the fuck was Angel? How long did it take to go get some damn matches anyways?

“All right.” I cleared my throat and flexed my wrists a little, wincing as the muscles in my arms protests the movement. “This right here? How I’m all tied up with no place to go? This is the opposite of what they were talking about.”

Illyria blinked at me. After waiting a few minutes for her to say something, I sighed. “What exactly is it that you’re unsure about?”

“You enjoy this.” She took a half step towards the bed and my body tensed. “Why do you prefer this over simply fulfilling basic primal needs and urges?”

For a very brief second, I wondered if this was what my granddaddy had felt like when he’d given me the ‘birds and the bees’ speech a lifetime ago. I shrugged. “I am fulfilling those urges. I’m just...” My mind scrambled to come up with something. “Pleasure comes in many forms and these kinds of things add to the experience.”

Her head tilted a little to the right as she studied my body. I was reminded of a dog I’d had when I was a child. “And all of these things?” She motioned towards some of the items on the dresser. “Are also to add more pleasure? Even that?”

I focused on the item at the end of the row. Still wasn’t really sure what the fuck that was, but I’d already told Angel if he came anywhere near any part of my body with the damn thing that he was going to have it shoved up his nose. “Right.”

She opened her mouth to say something else when Angel ran back into the room. “I found them, Lindsey. Now we can...” His jaw dropped. “Illyria? What are you doing here?”

“This one was telling me about mating habits of humans.” I gave Angel a very small smile. He raised an eyebrow. “It was very informative.”

Illyria turned on her heel and walked out of the room without making another sound. Angel and I both stared at the doorway for moment. “She wanted to know about the mating habits of humans? Why was she asking you, Lindsey?”

“From what I understand, she overheard someone talking about people being vanilla and Spike told her I was the perfect person to ask.” I bet he had a huge smile on his face right now.

Confusion etched itself across Angel’s features. “What does a flavoring have to do with sex?”

At first I thought he was joking. Then I realized he was serious. “She was referring to normal sex, Angel. I’m talking about the kind without all the props, biting, toys, kinks, and unusual places to screw.”

“People do that?” He shook his head. “Weird.” I watched him light the candles. “You don’t think she’s going to come back, do you? That’ll seriously spoil all the fun.”

I rolled my eyes. “Give me a break. I know you love it when people watch you work. Do I have to remind you about the Harmony incident in the copy room last week?”

Angel coughed. “Point taken.” He slipped out of his pants, grabbed one of the candles, and got up onto the bed. “You want me to put the blindfold back on?”

“Nah, leave it off.”


End file.
